Steve and Mia: She's tired of giving friend her 'benefits'

Q: I'm in a difficult situation. My friend and I are in a "friends with benefits" relationship. I want more, but he wants to stay just FWB so we don't lose the friendship. This is not the kind of relationship I want. But every time I try to leave or stop being FWB, he gets all upset and says that if I just stay around and give him time, we will become more than FWB. This has been going on for eight months now. What do I do?

Steve: Ask him if he has a cute friend, because you're going to be dating others.

Mia: Unless you want to keep waiting around, you already have your answer. It's no. This dude is not The One. Keep the friendship, if you must, but cut off all "benefits" immediately. Start looking for a nice guy who wants to make you his one-and-only.

Once you meet him, don't play yourself like you did last time by getting sexual with someone who doesn't think you are girlfriend material. Too many times, women have sex hoping they'll eventually get promoted to girlfriend status but never do. If monogamy is your goal, make sure you're the girlfriend, then dole out the benefits.

Q: I am stuck in a weird predicament. I am in a relationship with my girlfriend of eight years. I proposed a few years ago but was turned down. We have a child and live together, but we aren't in love, have little in common and pretty much live together out of security and for our son. However, we get along great and are good friends. The problem is that I recently met another girl. We have a ton in common and hit it off well. But I am unsure on whether to take the chance or stick with the security.

Steve: The fact you and your girlfriend get along great and are good friends makes your relationship better than most marriages. As for the new girl, the unknown seems enticing, doesn't it? Giving up what you have now could lead to true love, couldn't it? But it also could lead to a hellish life of regret and despair. As the old knight in "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade" warned, "Choose wisely."

Mia: As a father, you could be selfless and focus on providing a stable home for your child instead of harboring fantasies about this new woman. If you leave your current relationship, you need to do so honorably. That means no sneaking around.

Let your current girlfriend know that you're ready to move on and establish how you two are going to be co-parents.