Addicts around the globe squander 300 million minutes of playing time daily, Rovio reports.
Angry Birds is the No. 1 paid app on iTunes in 68 countries and the best-selling paid app ever. More than 266 billion levels of Angry Birds have been played. More than 400 billion birds slingshot across the virtual universe. More than three trillion pigs summarily executed. And more than 44 billion behavior-reinforcing stars rewarded.
To mark the game's conquest, Rovio's CEO, Mikael Hed, issued a self-congratulatory statement:
"We're extremely delighted to see such an incredible amount of people enjoying our games. We remain committed to creating more fun experiences."
We're doomed.
This week, my daughter, a counselor in a methadone clinic, got a call from one of her colleagues.
"I need your help."
"I'm finishing some paperwork," my daughter said. "I'll be right there."
"No!" said her colleague. "I need you right now!"
Worried about what was so urgent, she rushed down the hallway to find her coworker holding a smartphone.
"I can't get off this level. Help!"
It was a promising young journalist who turned me on to the birds, saying innocently, "You're going to love this."
For months, the app lay dormant (like an unlaunched cannonball), until I found myself on a Megabus to Boston and thought, well, here's a way to pass the time. Six hours later in South Station, I was pinned to my seat, muttering, "One more level and I'll get off."
Before the birds bit me, the only computer game I ever played was my kids' educational Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego?
