The Pulse: Christmas card does more than mark a holiday

There are many things I love about this day. Being with family. A religious service. Exchanging gifts. The meal. Nat King Cole's Christmas Album and Sid Mark spinning Sinatra, both in the background. But when the house gets quiet, I'll partake in a more personal tradition: slowly reviewing this year's Christmas cards.

I enjoy sending and receiving, and Rule No. 1 is that if you like the latter, you have to do the former. We usually get ours out a little after Thanksgiving, which is also when I put a small box in the kitchen to collect the incoming. Everybody in our house knows the rules: You can peruse the cards so long as you return them to the box. That's because while we all take a peek in the midst of the normal pre-Christmas crush, what I most enjoy is reviewing them when a quiet time presents itself on Christmas Day.

Mostly it's a take stock moment, but with some sadness too.

By my Christmas card index, I guess I've had another good year. My address hasn't changed and neither has that of my wife. I'm still able to send my parents a holiday greeting. And our kids are all healthy and growing nicely, hence their picture on the cover of our card, under the word Peace.

I can't say the same for everyone on our address list.

Going over the names a few weeks ago, I noted more to update than just some street numbers. A smattering of divorces and a couple of deaths marred the 2011 list. Some names of friends who won't see another Christmas I refuse to remove. I may no longer be mailing them cards, but seeing their names every year is a great reminder of past love and friendship.

Divorces present some difficult calls. Who stays on the list? Him? Her? Both?

A cultural anthropologist would have a field day looking at what we send and receive. The entire process requires much decision making. "Merry Christmas" or "Season's Greetings"? Photograph or no photograph? If you do the picture, do parents get in, or just the kids? Religious or secular stamp? And are you signing or just sending?

I have just one hard and fast rule. I may have warmed to doing my shopping online, but I can't give full credit for electronically sent cards. You have to put in a little more effort than blasting your e-mail list.