Dear Abby: Health issues led to poor self-image

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 40-year-old female in the military who has been married for a few years. When I got married, I was slim, had a full head of beautiful, long hair and hardly any medical problems. Over the last couple of years I have developed a host of medical issues, all related to the harsh conditions of my deployments.

My husband is shorter than I am, thin and three years younger. I have gained more than 40 pounds due to steroid treatments. I had to cut my long hair because it was falling out from stress. I look nothing like the woman I was when we were married. I look mannish!

Abby, my husband no longer seems proud to be seen with me in public. I think we look ridiculous together. Now that I'm so unattractive, the differences in height and our ages bother me more. I am embarrassed, ashamed, avoiding social situations and becoming a recluse. Doctors won't do anything to help me because they say it's a "cosmetic" issue. I don't know where to begin to dig myself out of this miserable existence.

- No Longer Myself in Maryland

DEAR NO LONGER YOURSELF: I disagree with your doctors. This isn't a "cosmetic" issue. You are depressed! Please consult both another primary physician, preferably female, who can identify with the feelings you're having, and a psychologist.