If you've worked at a private-equity firm, it seems, you're not fit to lead the country: The business Mitt Romney was in is "suspicious" and "indefensible," Newt Gingrich has said; it has "undermined capitalism." Ouch.
Of course, other lines of work generate their own controversies, so while we're at it, we might as well list all the occupations that disqualify one from the presidency. That way, we can save money on super-PAC ads and "documentaries" condemning the disgraceful professions of future presidential wannabes.
Take working for a university, state agency, or labor union, for example. Where do you think private-equity firms get their cash in the first place?
Sure, there are "1 percenters" who invest. But in 2010, 55 percent of private-equity assets came from pension funds, academic institutions, and foundations. Working in private equity is bad enough, but working for an enabler like Harvard, the California Pension and Retirement System, or the International Brotherhood of Boilermakers? Totally unacceptable.
And no candidate for president should ever have worked for a company that was funded by private equity, which is like being on John Dillinger's payroll and then claiming you thought he went to all those banks just for the free lollipops and calendars. That's tough luck for anyone who ever worked at Domino's, Staples, or Sports Authority - all funded by Bain Capital, Romney's former firm - but standards are standards. This also applies to anyone at Hulu, Dollar General, or the Weather Channel.
Your mother told you that someday you could be president? Call her and break the bad news: You never should have taken that summer job delivering pizza.
Sounds suspicious
