Of course, since no one trusts us given our somewhat bottom-of-the-barrel customer-service record (see J.D. Power and Consumer Reports), I think readers were probably more swayed by the positions taken by Southwest and Delta.
I am concerned nevertheless that we gave the impression that we don't care about passengers (who are we fooling . . . ) since the airport CEO maintains that a new runway would improve travel in and out of the airport, particularly during inclement weather. Also, given the city's position that we may be blackmailing them by threatening to curtail service if the runway is built (of course we would. See the screw job in Pittsburgh), we may want to modify our position somewhat.
Therefore, I believe we should now embark on a new public-relations blitz saying that we are in favor of the new runway, subject to new surcharges and policies because of the hefty expense that we will bear. This, of course, is on top of the surcharges and fees we have already put in place regarding checked bags, premium seats and fuel surcharges, while offering less legroom than if you were an adult trying to stretch out in a crib. The new fees may create a little ouch, but I am confident passengers will be mollified when we introduce our new level of service in 2013, SubCoach, in which they can fly more cheaply than ever while strapped to the wings with as much baggage as they want to carry as long as we are not responsible if they drop it.
The recommendations:
* The installation of toll booths in front of every entrance to terminals A,B,C and F. Passengers will be required to pay a toll of $50 to gain access to the terminals. Including children under the age of 2 (enough with the babies. That little brat on the E-Trade commercials even talks).
