Steve and Mia: How should he bring up he's into bondage?

Posted: January 27, 2012

Q: As a male who's into bondage as a submissive, I have a tough time bringing up my kink to a potential new partner. How does a guy first discuss the fact that he wants to be tied up by a woman and/or pegged (anally penetrated using a dildo)?

Steve: I wouldn't mention it on the first date unless she greets you at the door wearing a black leather bodice.

Mia: Ask your girl what her biggest sexual fantasy is. After she answers, tell her that you're into being tied up. If she's cool with that level of kink, tell her you'd also like to be "pegged." She may be totally grossed out, but you'll never know until you ask.

Q: I got out of a relationship eight months ago. I started dating and found a girl I have strong feelings for. When I invited her out to meet my friends, she paused, then told me she really doesn't want a full-on relationship. She said I was really good in bed and fun to hang out with, and she just wanted to keep doing that. She got out of a relationship only two months ago. I'm going along with this, hoping in time she'll warm up to the idea.

Mia: I'm confused. What kind of guy doesn't like commitment-free sex?

Steve: She sounds pretty savvy. The first post-breakup relationship almost always fails. By not investing emotionally, she's just playing the odds. Don't push her; just let it ride. Sometimes a long shot pays off.


Steve is a 50-something married man who's been around the block. Mia is a younger, recently married woman with an all-together different attitude. They may not agree, but they have plenty of answers. For answers email S&M@phillynews.com or write: S&M c/o Daily News, 400 N. Broad St., Philadelphia, PA 19130.

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