"I enjoy Antiques Roadshow occasionally" is the catchphrase of someone who is equally addicted to Pawn Stars, American Pickers, and Storage Wars.
"It's probably silly for me to even own a TV set. The only time I watch it is when the Winter Olympics are showing figure skating." You really expect me to buy stuff like that? Because what I hear is: "When are they going to make Bad Girls Club an Olympic event?"
Sometimes you'll slip in a little indirection, a shard of truth to throw me off. It doesn't work.
Lately, for instance, I've been hearing a lot of "My wife and I have found Downton Abbey very entertaining." You may, indeed, be following the intrigue of a materialistic family intent on maintaining appearances, but I'm pretty sure it's the Kardashians, not the Granthams, that have you spellbound.
At least once a month, some woman will sniff at me, "I don't watch TV." I've learned over time that this declaration is true. At least, technically.
Because if she were to fully explain, she would have to admit, "I'm not permitted to. My therapist says I have developed 'an unhealthy fixation' on Sam Champion. Have you ever heard anything more ridiculous? {Whispering.) Did you happen to notice what Sam was wearing this morning? I think he's dreamy in pinstripes."
Why, oh, why do you feel it's necessary to lie about what you watch on TV? To me, of all people? It's not like I'm going to judge you. Unless you come right out and admit you're a fan of How I Met Your Mother. Then we have a problem.
Half-price winners. As a result of an ongoing legal action, it was revealed this week that NBC pays $21.5 million per year for the rights to broadcast the Golden Globe awards.
