Sideshow: Greatest show ever, says Nielsen

Every man, woman, child, household pet, and domesticated farmyard animal on the planet (with the exception of yours truly) watched Sunday's Super Bowl game, which saw the New York Giants fell the mighty New England Patriots, 21-17. It was the most-watched program in U.S. TV history, drawing an average of 111.3 mil domestic viewers, according to Nielsen SoundScan (Madonna's halftime show drew 114 mil). Global numbers aren't in, but we imagine they are spectacular.

Twitter-twitter-twitter the NFL

Sunday's game also broke the Twitter record, indicating that many, many people tweeted about the contest, an indication, says Inc.com, that it was a most important cultural phenom. There was an average of 10,000 tweets per second (TPS) in the final three minutes of the game, Twitter says. Quite astounding.

Heartbroken Gisele spews obscenity

Gisele Bundchen is steamin' mad that, as she sees it, her superman hub, Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, was not properly supported by his teammates, especially the receivers. "My husband cannot [obscenity] throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time. I can't believe they dropped the ball so many times," Bundchen said in a video posted by gossip site theinsider.com.

No NFL love for Kim Kardashian

In an entirely speculative report, TMZ says speculative rumors that Kim Kardashian is secretly dating New York Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez are totally off-base, as are rumors she's with Denver Broncos QB Tim Tebow. Why? TMZ cites Kim pals who say the reality-TV heroine will never date a football player again. Never. Like n-e-v-e-r.

Seems Kim's 2010 breakup with Reggie Bush was that rough.

D'oh! No Bart Simpson for Iranians

The sale of Bart, Homer, and Marge Simpson dolls - or any Simpsons-related toys - has been banned in Iran, says Mohammad Hossein Farjoo, an official of the Institute for the Intellectual Development of Children and Young Adults, the Iranian agency that decides what toys and games are healthy for kids. Recently Iran's morality police removed Barbie and Ken dolls from store shelves.

Randy Travis drowns sorrows

Randy Travis, 52, has apologized for upsetting fans with his indecent behavior: The country warbler was arrested for public intoxication in the wee hours of Monday morning after cops clocked him swerving and veering around on wobbly legs in front of a church in the North Texas town of Sanger.