Yeah, Mario Manningham doesn't catch that pass if not for the drunk in Section 417.
And it's not just the NFL. You hear the same hollow praise from owners at the World Series, NBA Finals, even Arena Football League games.
Shameless fan thank-yous have replaced shameless God thank-yous as the postgame pandering of choice.
Savvy marketers have convinced sports teams that it pays to blow smoke at fans, to make them believe they are something other than what everyone else knows they are - ATM machines for ownership.
It's hardly a new ploy. As a means of getting what one wants, it's just the latest version of the age-old "Tell her you love her and she'll follow you anywhere" strategy.
The fans hear the "We need you . . ." but not the unspoken words that follow: ". . . to spend as much as possible on us."
Let's face it - if these owners were being honest, here's what they'd say:
"Our customers, who mindlessly buy everything from team trash cans to team baby bibs, who shell out thousands of dollars for the privilege of shelling out hundreds of dollars on tickets to meaningless preseason games, who buy our overpriced food and drinks, pay $40 to park, and almost always end up disappointed, are the most gullible customers in the world."
But even though this phony fan flattery is less authentic than Colin Cowherd, it's been working.
The current sports fan has come to believe the 12th-man fiction. He's absorbed so much sweet-talk that he's actually convinced his game-day fervor and tribal behavior play a role in the fortunes of his favorite team.
Note to fans: It's your cash, not your cheers, that counts.
As long as you buy personal-seat licenses and luxury suites, you can sit on your hands and act as if you're in San Diego for all ownership cares.
