Unfaithful husband searches for way out of his marriage

Posted: April 10, 2012

DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 19 years, but I cannot stay faithful. I've had a few affairs, visit "massage parlors" and feel my wife deserves better. I want to walk away from our marriage.

We have kids who will be affected, and it will hurt us financially. I haven't told my wife, but I believe she knows because we haven't been intimate in months. We discussed divorce, but that was before the kids.

- Living a Lie in the Mid-Atlantic

DEAR LIVING A LIE: It would have been better for you to have divorced before you had children. However, it's time that you level with your wife.

As you stated, she probably has a good idea that something isn't right. She may prefer to remain married to you until your children are out of the house. You'll never know until you talk to her - and she deserves to know the truth.

DEAR ABBY: I am trying to decide who to have as best man at my wedding. I asked my best friend before I got engaged. After the engagement, I received pressure from my mom to have my brother as best man. I finally asked my brother. We have never been close.

My gut instinct tells me my best friend should be my best man. If I tell my brother he isn't the one anymore, I'm afraid it will be the final dagger in any type of relationship with him and his family.

- Groom-to-be in Minnesota

DEAR GROOM-TO-BE: Your best friend can still be your best man. According to Emily Post: "Two chief attendants may be the right solution when you don't want to choose between siblings or close friends."

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