Wife is cheating on hubby - with Zumba

Posted: April 13, 2012

Q: My wife began taking Zumba classes one night a week months ago. She gained more than 48 pounds postpartum two years ago and was miserable. I was her No. 1 supportive fan. That has changed. My wife now goes four nights a week, and I am left taking care of our two children and the house. She meets up with a former co-worker who is a woman. I never would have thought my wife would cheat on me, let alone with a member of the same sex. However, I strongly suspect it.

She has grown distant, and now ridicules me saying that I am the “woman” in our relationship. It is so painful because I lost my job in 2010 and my wife has a great job — which she constantly reminds me of. This other woman texts her, and now they are on Facebook and play online games. We are both 42. I mentioned marriage counseling and she blew me off.

Mia: Lots of couples grow apart over time, and that sounds like what has happened here. Is there any way that you could get a sitter so you could join her at class every now and then? Since you are out of work, maybe you can arrange for some sort of trade to afford a sitter. Also ask her if you can join the fun and play some of the online games she’s enjoying so much. Do what you can to inject fun back into your relationship. It won’t be easy, given your work situation and home responsibilities, but you don’t want to lose your wife. And don’t give up on counseling. It sounds as if you two need it.

Steve: Another Zumba victim. Where will this end?

Q: I invited my husband to accompany me on a business trip and he agreed to go. Then he turned around and invited his two adult kids to join us. I had been looking forward to being alone with him in a new city. Now it has turned into a big family production. I don’t want to be the mean stepmom, but that’s what I feel like. Help!

Steve: The next time your husband invites you to dinner, announce that you’ve invited a couple of your women friends to go along. He’ll get the message.

Mia: Show your husband the email you wrote us. Explain that you are not trying exclude his kids, but squeeze out a little couple time. Promise to schedule a family trip that you can all go on together. Then do. Hope he listens. n

Steve is a 50-something married man who’s been around the block. Mia is a younger, recently married woman with an all-together different attitude. They may not agree, but they have plenty of answers. Email S&M@phillynews.com or write: S&M, c/o Daily News, 400 N. Broad St., Philadelphia, PA 19130.

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