Dad who wants to be in kids’ loop must try a little harder

Posted: April 26, 2012

DEAR ABBY: “Modern Dad in Roswell, Ga.” was put off that invitations to his young daughters are sent to his ex-wife’s home rather than to both his and the ex- wife’s. He assumes the sender is “sexist” and suggests the solution for children with two households is to be sent two invitations.

As a parent who invites children to my home or to a party, I don’t feel I should be responsible for their parents’ communication difficulty. Often I am not even aware that a child has two households. I think “Modern Dad” needs to realize that no one is deliberately snubbing him or making assumptions about parental roles. They are just inviting his kids to things, for which he should be grateful. Did he share his address with the inviter? Does he make his preference clear to parents when meeting them? I believe it’s presumptuous to expect someone to send two invitations to the same child. And I agree with you, Abby, that “Dad” needs to improve communication with his ex-wife so he no longer feels he is being prevented from being an “active parent.”

— Regular Mom in Tennessee

DEAR REGULAR MOM: A majority of readers agreed that more sharing of information between the girls’ mother and “Dad” will solve his problem. Other parents’ comments:

DEAR ABBY: Our solution to this problem was to use an online computer calendar for the kids’ events.

(Privacy settings can be set so the calendar is not viewable to the general public.) n

— Florida Father

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