Abby, I was shocked and, frankly, offended. I would never tell a guest what to bring and what recipe to follow. When my husband told me he was willing to give the dish a try, I told him I would not attend a dinner party where I was commanded to bring a specific dish. My husband stayed home with me that evening, but says he can't understand what the big deal was. Was I wrong to refuse to participate?
— Lost My Appetite
DEAR LOST: Having accepted the invitation, you should have gone to the dinner, taken the side dish and made the best of it. You may have missed out on a memorable and enjoyable evening.
DEAR ABBY: The grandfather of a friend recently died. The sister of this friend and I had dated not long ago. I would like to send a condolence card to the family. Would it be proper to send one card addressed to "The Smiths" or should I send a card to the family and a separate one to "Lisa" (the woman I dated)?
DEAR JAY: A letter or card of condolence should be sent to the family, and a separate condolence should be sent to Lisa. n