I want to move on from this relationship and have a real relationship with intimacy and everything else, but I know this will end our friendship. If he does not want me to be with anyone else, why can't he man up and just be with me?
STEVE: Ah, yes, dog-in-the-manger syndrome. This common malady afflicts both genders. Your partner doesn't want you — not in the fully committed and loving way you seek — but he doesn't want anyone else to have you either. You'll have to give up the home repairs and fix your personal life by moving on from this dog.
MIA: Don't make this more complicated than it is. He's not interested in a commitment and as long as you are, this isn't going to work. Either settle down and take him as he is or move on. It's wrong of you to pressure him into doing what he doesn't want.
Q: My wife and I are soon to celebrate our 40th anniversary. Thirty years ago I had a fling with a neighbor. It ended quickly, I regretted it and that's the only misstep I've made in my wonderful marriage. It's burdened me ever since and I'd feel like a weight was lifted if I told my wife. What do you think?
MIA: Don't you dare tell her! There's no point in making her miserable. Forgive yourself and hope nobody tells her — and move on.
STEVE: The romantic statute of limitations for prosecuting a cheater expires, well, never. You have the right to remain silent. Love your wife, be glad you learned from your mistake and look forward, not backward.
Steve is a 50-something married man who's been around the block. Mia is a younger, recently married woman with an altogether different attitude. They may not agree, but they have plenty of answers. Email S&M@phillynews.com or write: S&M, c/o Daily News, 400 N. Broad St., Philadelphia, PA 19130.
