Dear Abby: Man who is reluctant to move resists combining households

Dear Abby
Posted: June 11, 2012

DEAR ABBY: I'm a middle-aged, divorced man in a one-year relationship with a wonderful woman. "Alexis" is bright, pretty, fun, responsible, affectionate, and yes, I do love her. She also insists that I move in with her. She wants us to start our life together under one roof — hers.

I'm having a hard time with all of this — selling my home, selling most of my belongings, changing my work-from-home routine and giving up the independence of living alone with my mutts. Alexis still has a minor child at home, which is an issue because I believe I have "been there, done that."

I don't think the timing is right, and I have told her as much several times. But she's soon back in "sell your house and move in" mode. Alexis is beginning to think I will never make the move. (She may be right.) I'll probably lose her if I don't give in. Any suggestions? n

— Staying Put in Oklahoma

DEAR STAYING PUT: Before selling your home and most of your possessions, consider putting the things you want to keep in storage and renting out your home for a year. That way, if things don't work with Alexis — and they might not — you won't have given up everything.

Another plus: By then your house may have risen in value and you'll get a better price for it. But do nothing in haste or because you feel you are being pressured.

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