Couple Headed For The Altar Trips Over Boyfriend's Fling

Posted: June 13, 2012

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Wally," and I have been friends for several years, and a couple for nearly two.

He recently brought up the subject of marriage, and we agreed that we are likely altar-bound.

Only one thing gives me pause. A few months ago, Wally got plastered and had a fling with a female friend. He regretted it immediately and said it was what made him realize I am "The One." (He is getting help for his drinking now.)

The problem is, the woman is still pursuing him. She buys him gifts or brings him vegan meals. He has asked her repeatedly to stop, to no avail. Because Wally is a vegetarian and I'm not, I suspect she's trying to prove she would be a better partner for him.

I have asked Wally to cut off contact with her, but he won't. He feels bad for her because she has few friends and lives in an isolated little town. What do you suggest I do?

— Unwilling to Share

DEAR UNWILLING TO SHARE: Raise the subject of marriage with Wally again, and tell him his continued contact with the woman he cheated with is hurtful to you and a threat to your relationship. Ask how he would feel if you continued to see and accept gifts from a man you'd had a drunken fling with. If he says he wouldn't be thrilled, perhaps he'll be able to understand your reaction to what's going on. If he says he'd be fine with it, then Wally isn't the man for you. n

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