Dear Abby: Volunteering would quickly fill Pop's social calendar

Posted: June 14, 2012

DEAR ABBY: "Torn in Texas" wrote that her widowed father-in-law visits them every weekend, leaving no time for her family to have a weekend just for themselves. May I suggest that "Torn" contact the Office on Aging nearest to "Pop" and find out what programs are available for seniors. If he has the capacity to drive an hour each way to their house, perhaps he could volunteer.

It appears that Pop has a lot of life left in him, and it's a shame that he spends so much of it alone. If he could become involved in some activities during the week, they might overflow into his weekends, keep him busy and productive, and alleviate his family's guilt. If you only reduce the number of times he visits each month, he will be alone that much more and probably won't admit that he is lonely.

As is often the case, I'll bet Pop's late wife made all their social plans. I recommend that Torn or her husband go WITH Pop to a program the first time. It would also be helpful to talk to the director and explain the circumstances. The father-in-law may be resistant at first because it's difficult to walk into a new place cold turkey. But he will be warmly welcomed and may look forward to the next time.

— Experienced with Seniors

DEAR EXPERIENCED WITH SENIORS: Your letter reflects the opinion of many other readers. Most agreed that Pop needs to get out and become more involved, and Torn should appreciate the time she and her family spends with Pop, because at 87 he won't be around forever. n

|
|
|
|
|