Q: I am into S&M — and I don't mean Steve and Mia. I am a sub, but my husband is not a dom. When we started dating five years ago, I refused to have sex until I was able to reveal myself. I told him to research it and get back to me if he was still interested. He did come back, and we had an incredible relationship for three years. Then we married and the first year was great. But over the past year he has slowly gotten rid of my sexual paraphernalia. He has pushed me into what I term vanilla sex. Initially, I gave in because it was something he needed, and since he gave me what I wanted, it was only fair. The problem is, I can't have a sexually satisfying experience without pain. He wants to help fix me; I have no desire to be fixed. And I feel he lied to me. I can't bear the thought of spending the rest of my life not ever being satisfied. I really do love this man. Is it possible for someone like me to change or is this a hopeless situation?