‘SideShow': OctoMom's sleazy job; Kardashian sex tape; Cruz loves Woody Allen; Ripa's cheap wedding

Posted: June 23, 2012

Kris: Her mom made Kim's sex tape

In an explosive allegation that adds even more sordid spice to their rancorous, rancid, divorce, Kris Humphries claims the sex tape that made his wife of 72 days, Kim Kardashian, famous was conceived by her mom, Kris Jenner. TMZ says this is one of the nasty tidbits about the Kardashian Kabal that Kris shared with his ex-gf, Myla Sinanaj. Humphries reportedly told Myla that Jenner even made Kim reshoot the vid, which costars a hunkoid identified as Ray J., because she didn't look hot enough.

Kim's divorce lawyers have subpoenaed Myla, believing she has damaging information about Kim's ex, including a text Humphries reportedly sent her saying that she was the love of his life and that he was raring to divorce Kim to be back with Myla. It would undermine his claims that he was sincere in his love of Kim, and that the latter hoodwinked him into marrying her for the publicity and TV money it'd bring. K-Kabal sources tell TMZ the sex vid allegations are nonsense.

Sometimes ours is just a miserable world.

Nadya "Octomom" Suleman, whose struggles with money — she has been swirling around the bankruptcy drain for years — are legendary, has landed a new job. The mother of 14 is selling sleazy, high-interest loans to fellow financial unfortunates.

TMZ says Octomom is doing ads for OctoLoan, a referral agency that hooks up desperate people with cash lenders. OctoLoan boasts it can get you $1,000 instantly!

Trouble is, the short-term loans gouge consumers with high interest rates exceeding 600 percent APR. It's the perfect way to keep the target demographic (desperate folk stuck outside the American Dream) all the more desperate.

Romijn's recipe for a good marriage

... includes tandem bikes. Seriously!

Rebecca Romijn tells Health mag she has found the perfect way to keep her marriage to The Defenders star Jerry O'Connell. "Jerry and I bought a tandem bike a few years back," she says. "He [rides] in the front and I ride in the back — and if you're in the back, you can't see where you're going ... But at a certain point, I would just surrender to his [wild riding]." The couple, whose twin girls, DollyRebecca Rose and Charlie Tamara Tulip, were born on Dec. 28, 2008, have some issues: Jerry snores. How does she cope? "Sometimes I hold his nose. It's terrible but it makes me laugh," she says. "He also says really crazy things in his sleep. He keeps me entertained."

Penélope Cruz: I love Woody Allen

"I would love to work with him 20 times. I'm fascinated by his personality. ... I love his sense of humor."

So Penélope Cruz, 38, tells USA Today of her artistic love affair with director Woody Allen. A fruitful affair: Their first film together, 2008's Vicky Cristina Barcelona, earned Pen an Oscar and a husband — she met Javier Bardem on-set. Pen's love is reciprocated and then some. She's "one of the great movie stars of the world," says Woody, 76.

"As an actress, she has a great natural quality that leaps off the screen, and she is unusually photogenic."

The duo's second collaboration, To Rome With Love, opens Friday.

Emma Stone's pains & pleasures

Amazing Spidey-Gal Emma Stone is everywhere lately, promoting The Amazing Spider-Man, her pic with her Spidey lover Andrew Garfield. She gets serious in Vogue, telling the mag she began having debilitating panic attacks when she was 8. "I was just kind of immobilized by it," she says. "I didn't want to go to my friends' houses or hang out with anybody, and nobody really understood." Two things helped: years of therapy and an apprenticeship in comic theater.

Stone, 23, whose credits include The Help and Superbad, lightens up in People mag's The Movies of My Life issue, telling the mag she still vividly remembers the very first film she saw: The Jerk, Steve Martin's 1979 masterpiece. "It's my dad's favorite movie. Laughter is what symbolizes love to me because of watching The Jerk with my dad. I think that's partially why I do comedy."

Sadly, she's tiresomely conventional when asked about her first movie love: "Leonardo DiCaprio in Titanic. I saw it a thousand billion times. [Laughs] No, I saw it seven times in theaters. I have a weird thing where I like ... well, I shouldn't go into it, because I've met him now, and it's one of those weird things."

How to price a marriage ...

Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry's custody battle over 4-year-old Nahla continues to rage. But there has been one development: TMZ says a judge has ordered the Monster's Ball Oscar winner to pay Aubry $20,000 a month (that's a quarter mil a year) in child support.

Kelly Ripa's dream wedding to her dream man, Mark Consuelos, was considerably cheaper than Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries' $10 mil nightmare (which reportedly netted Kim 'n' Kris an $18 mil paycheck).

"Our entire wedding including airfare [from New York] ... cost $279," Kelly said on her syndicated show. "Even if you go back 16 years, $279 is a really realistic good price for a wedding." Realistic!? As AOL and Reuters report, the average cost of an American wedding today is $27,021.

Contact "SideShow" at sideshow@phillynews.com. This article contains information from Inquirer wire services.

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