Dear Abby: Grandma's birthday party causes generational rift

Posted: June 25, 2012

DEAR ABBY: I just celebrated my 80th birthday at a party with 22 of my dearest friends. I also invited my daughter-in-law, "Sydney," and her mother. The problem is, I didn't invite my 8-year-old granddaughter. I explained that I felt she wouldn't enjoy herself with all of us senior women. Sydney disagreed.

I then suggested perhaps it would be better if I had a dinner party for the entire family the following evening. In retaliation for my not inviting my granddaughter, Sydney declined the dinner invitation. Was I wrong not to invite my granddaughter to a party with my 80-year-old friends?

— Tried to Be Considerate

DEAR TRIED: I don't think so. You were being considerate of your granddaughter's feelings. That your daughter-in-law would be so petulant as to "punish" you for making the intelligent choice indicates that she has some growing up to do. You owe no one any apologies; Sydney does.

DEAR ABBY: Would you please weigh in on whether you think wearing sunglasses indoors is rude and not conducive to friendly communication?

— Nothing to Hide in New Jersey

DEAR NOTHING TO HIDE: I agree that trying to converse with someone who is wearing sunglasses can be confusing, because it prevents you from picking up nonverbal cues you might otherwise be given.

The person you're writing about may be shy, paranoid or hiding the remnants of a hangover. But unless you ask why he or she is hiding behind the sunglasses, you will never know if there's a valid reason for it.

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