DEAR ABBY: I need some advice about my girlfriend "Vivian's" son.
"Kirk" is 22 and very immature. I love Vivian with all my heart, and I get upset when Kirk verbally abuses her. I try not to say anything because I feel it's not my place because he's not MY son.
Kirk hasn't worked in two years. He walks into his mother's house and takes whatever he wants — food, toothpaste, rolls of toilet paper, etc.
He won't help her around the house, mow the lawn or wash a dirty dish he has used. And he lives rent-free in one of the duplexes his mother bought for additional income.
Vivian is a wonderful woman who is hardworking and self-supporting.
She's also tired of her son's lack of motivation and how he takes her for granted.
I know a mother doesn't want to see her child go hungry, but where do you draw the line?
— Fed Up in Texas
DEAR FED UP: Vivian should draw the line at the front door. By tolerating her son's disrespectful behavior she is doing him no favors.
Unless he actively looks for a job, stops helping himself to her property and does something to repay her generosity (mowing the lawn and washing the dishes he uses would be a good start), she should stop "helping" him.
What she's doing is crippling her son, who may be in need of counseling.
