Steve and Mia: He's no good at online dating

Posted: August 17, 2012

Q: I'm a 25-year-old man who's tried several Internet dating sites and none of them have worked. They claim to be scientific and only match people who are compatible, but everyone I've met either had nothing in common with me, wasn't attracted to me or went off the grid after one date. I'm ready to give up, but I'm not meeting people through work or social contacts either, so I don't know what to do.

STEVE: Don't take it personally. The dating failure rate is enormously high. The people who are most successful are the ones seeking the most opportunities. Trying things out with 10 people isn't nearly as effective as trying things out with 50 people. That means more rejections, of course, but coping with rejection is necessary to achieve success. Try one of those speed-dating events. For $25 or $35 you get drinks and hors d'oeurves and an eight- or 10-minute conversation with a number of single women. Afterward, everyone goes online and enters the info of anyone they'd like to see again. If the other person feels the same, there's a match and each person gets the contact information for the other. If you don't get at least one match, the next event is free. It's a fun way to increase your chances.

MIA: If you're casting your net and coming up empty, have a third party take a look at your pictures and what your profile says. I've seen a lot of guys blow their chances at finding Miss Right because they use their cellphones to take their own photos. That's a total loser move. Be smart and have professional shots of yourself taken. And get an honest friend to read your profile and give you good feedback. If you'd like, you can send me what you have and I'll take a look.

Q: I'm a 55-year-old man. My partner says she's satisfied but I'm not performing the way I used to. Do I need Viagra?

MIA: Before you reach for the blue pill, you need to check with a doctor. It sounds like you're suffering from erectile dysfunction, which can be caused by anything from emotional issues to high blood pressure. A physician can let you know for sure. And while we're on the subject, congratulations on keeping your lady satisfied even though you're not on your A-game.

STEVE: Mia's right. Your doctor is the first stop. He'll be able to diagnose the cause and decide whether Viagra is the right solution.


Steve is a 50-something married man who's been around the block. Mia is a younger, recently married woman with an all-together different attitude. They may not agree, but they have plenty of answers. Email S&M@phillynews.com or write: S&M, c/o Daily News, 801 Market St., Philadelphia, PA 19107.

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