Dear Abby: Woman's daily phone calls are suffocating friendship

Posted: August 24, 2012

DEAR ABBY: I'm writing for advice on friendship. There is a person who insists we are "best friends." She calls every day to gossip and get into people's business, including mine. We are grown women, and I find this childish.

I am a loner. I don't like too many people in my space, but I don't want to hurt her feelings. I just want her to get a life. I'm married; she's single. We have nothing in common, in my opinion, and she tries to keep up with my every move. If I don't answer the phone at home, she calls me at work.

Help me tell this person, without being hurtful and rude, that I like her but I want to have a normal adult relationship with her. I have other close friends, but I don't have to call or talk to them every day to maintain our friendship.

- Infringed Upon in Mississippi

DEAR INFRINGED UPON: The woman may be trying to live vicariously through you, which is why she's calling daily and pumping you for information. Tell her that phone calls at work are distracting, so please don't call you there.

She should also be told that while you like her, the closeness she craves has become claustrophobic and is making you uncomfortable, so please limit her calls to one or two a week. If you do not set boundaries, you can't expect her to observe them.

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