Dear Abby: Dear Abby: Stepmom's story of alienation is familiar

Posted: September 06, 2012

DEAR ABBY: The letter from "Disappearing Stepmother" brought back memories of my stepdaughter's wedding. Her mother tried to prevent us from being involved, but she included all of us. Dad and Stepdad walked her down the aisle together, and her mom and I lit the bride's candle.

This bride needs to stand up to her mother. The dad should at least put his foot down on the guest list. Otherwise, resentment will poison the relationship between stepmom and daughter.

- Another Stepmom

DEAR STEPMOM: I encouraged "Disappearing" to attend the wedding to support her stepdaughter and inject a dose of reality into the "fantasy," and readers were quick to share their views:

DEAR ABBY: First wives often hold the upper hand. When your husband's daughter matures and is a mom herself, things may change. Take the high road.

- Survivor in Alabama

DEAR ABBY: My husband's ex-wife has been a major problem. She came to our wedding and slapped me. The children were there and I kept the evening going by telling them I was sorry their mom was upset. Now that these kids have grown up, I am proud to have been part of showing them what a solid, loving family can be.

- Barbara in Illinois

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