Ostensibly, the Huffington Post Oasis offers these services gratis to convention delegates as well as media types. But in practice, said Brendan McDonald, whose LYFE Kitchen serves the Oasis' healthy fare, "I've only seen the likes of you."
Do not be deceived by all the floor speeches: This is a convention of the media, by the media, and for the media. There are some 15,000 representatives of the media here, about three times the number of delegates. This means most journalists here spend their time with other journalists at events sponsored by corporations and hosted by media organizations to entertain advertisers and promote themselves to each other.
There's the Politico Hub (Ketel One Martini bar!), the Bloomberg Link (hot breakfast and goody bags!), and many more. The Atlantic, National Journal, and CBS started offering mimosas at 9:30 a.m.; The Hill had a full bar open at 10:30 a.m. I attended these events for five hours on Tuesday and could not identify a single delegate.
Last week's storm-shortened Republican convention in Tampa, Fla., with a similar media mob, produced no bounce in the polls for Mitt Romney. The situation in Charlotte - thousands of idle journalists and not a serious news story in sight - is one more reason to consign conventions to the dustbin of history.
My Tuesday began at the Politico Hub, where Mike Allen was interviewing President Obama's confidant Valerie Jarrett.
"He's a human being and he likes to laugh," Jarrett disclosed.
Allen asked if it's true that "they're incredible parents."
"They're absolutely amazing," Jarrett confirmed.
The dozens of reporters in the crowd munched on scones and fruit (sponsor: Bank of America). Nearby were a bar (sponsored by BAE Systems and others) and a Coca-Cola "Refresh Station."
An hour later, the Bloomberg Link held its breakfast - also featuring Jarrett. Attendees got purple Bloomberg beach bags containing sunglasses and water bottles. The Bloomberg hosts were pleased with their glitzy digs. "It's like spring break out there, and this is like the cool party everybody wants to get into," one Bloomberg guy explained to a guest.
A whiteboard listed MSNBC's schedule, including a pizza party at noon and "Rev. Al's Blueberry Pie Café" at 6 p.m. This was much like the offering at the nearby CNN Grill, which sent out updates with the political and media stars "sighted" there.
From there, I hurried to the National Journal-CBS Breakfast (sponsors included United Technologies, Volkswagen, and Pfizer), which featured Obama pollster Joel Benenson informing journalists that the president's crowds are getting bigger.
There was little time to process this wisdom, because I was late for a breakfast hosted by The Hill (sponsors included Tyco, Allstate, and lobbying firm Holland & Knight), where Rep. Jim Cooper (D., Tenn.) announced that Obama's advisers have been "astonishingly successful." By then I was behind for the Yahoo-ABC News event, so I missed Obama campaign manager Jim Messina telling reporters that "the president is building an economy built to last."
There were a dozen media events to go to. But if I went to the late-night BuzzFeed party at a children's museum, I wondered, could I still make it to Wednesday's breakfast sponsored by Bloomberg and the Washington Post?
Possibly - but I'd need a nap at the Huffington Post.
Dana Milbank is a Washington Post columnist.
