Take Eagles' season one game at a time

Posted: September 06, 2012

LOOKING AT SOME highlights, lowlights and other insanity bound to crop up with the Eagles' schedule this season.

Week 1. Sunday, Sept. 9: at Cleveland, 1 p.m. (Fox)

 Joe Banner's first act as a Browns executive is to ban fans from bringing biscuits into the stadium's renowned dawg pound.

Pick: Brandon Weeden throws three interceptions. Eagles, 27-13.

Week 2. Sunday, Sept. 16: Baltimore, 1 (CBS)

 Good thing this isn't a conference championship game. Neither team would win.

Pick: LeSean McCoy outruns Ray Rice . . . to the bank. Eagles, 20-17.

Week 3. Sunday, Sept. 23: at Arizona, 4:05 (Fox)

The quarterback matchup everybody expected when Kevin Kolb was traded last summer: John Skelton vs. Nick Foles.

Pick: Kolb comes in for Skelton and throws decisive touchdown. Cardinals, 24-21.

Week 4.Sunday, Sept. 30: New York Giants, 8:20 (NBC)

Eagles are the only NFC East team with winning record against Eli Manning (9-7).

Pick: First fight happens around 11 a.m. Eagles, 21-20.

Week 5. Sunday, Oct. 7: at Pittsburgh, 1 (Fox)

Alex Henery kicks a game-winner at the buzzer. Eagles clinch AFC North.

Pick: Rashard Mendenhall, in first game back, commits key fumble. Eagles, 23-21.

Week 6.Sunday, Oct. 14: Detroit, 1 (Fox)

Trying to trick the Lions, Juan Castillo has rookie Brandon Boykin shadow Calvin Johnson.

Pick: Megatron responds with 22 catches. Lions, 34-23.

Week 7. Sunday, Oct. 21: Bye

World Series starts in 3 days and thousands of fans flock to Chickie's & Pete's for a Phillies game. They go home with soggy crab fries.

Pick: Jayson Werth gets his second ring. Parties with Richards and Carter. Washington beats Texas, 4-2.

Week 8.Sunday, Oct. 28: Atlanta, 1 p.m. (Fox)

Trying something new, the Eagles decide to cover Tony Gonzalez this time.

Pick: DeSean Jackson scores the winning touchdown when Asante Samuel whiffs on a tackle. Eagles, 26-24.

Week 9.Monday, Nov. 5: at New Orleans, 8:30 p.m. (ESPN)

Jimmy Graham's cleatmarks are all over the Eagles' secondary and Drew Brees looks like he's playing Madden 2013.

Pick: Two-thirds of the Eagles fans who made the trip have a court date the next morning. Saints, 35-17.

Week 10.Sunday, Nov. 11: Dallas, 4:25 p.m. (Fox)

The Eagles' defensive front chews up the Cowboys' o-line, causing Andy Reid to hug Cullen Jenkins.

Pick: Another South Philly nightmare for Tony Romo. Eagles, 20-6.

Week 11.Sunday, Nov. 18: at Washington, 1 p.m. (Fox)

Seeing too much Trent Cole and Jason Babin, Robert Griffin III pleads with the NCAA to let him go back to Baylor.

Pick: Vick pays homage to Obama by sliding for six first downs. Eagles, 24-14.

Week 12.Monday, Nov. 26: Carolina, 8:30 p.m. (ESPN)

Cam Newton salvages a split for the Heisman guys by throwing for 350 yards.

Pick: Jon Gruden has people switching to Merrill Reese 5 minutes into the pregame show. Panthers, 29-20.

Week 13.Sunday, Dec. 2: at Dallas, 8:20 p.m. (NBC)

The Eagles' winning streak against Dallas ends at three because nobody could figure out how to block DeMarcus Ware.

Pick: Three of the four teams in the NFC East are 7-5, including the Eagles. Cowboys, 21-13.

Week 14.Sunday, Dec. 9: at Tampa Bay, 1 p.m. (Fox)

The Eagles escape with a win when Michael Vick hits Jackson with a 73-yard slant in the final minute.

The pick: Tampa Bay's kicker, whatever his name is, barely misses a 65-yard field goal at the buzzer. Eagles, 19-17.

Week 15.Thursday, Dec. 13: Cincinnati, 8:20 (6ABC, NFLN)

The Eagles don't lose these Thursday night games.

Pick: However, there's a massive snowstorm and the governor closes the roads and pushes the game to Friday. Jackson tweets that it was the media's fault. Bengals, 21-19.

Week 16.Sunday, Dec. 23: Washington, 1 p.m. (Fox)

The Redskins haven't played a meaningful game since Week 3 and their other rookie quarterback, Kirk Cousins, begs the NCAA to let him go back to Michigan State.

Pick: Obama, killing time a month before the inauguration, personally congratulates Vick for clinching a playoff berth. Eagles, 31-13.

Week 17.Sunday, Dec. 30: at Giants, 1 p.m. (Fox)

With the division title at stake, this one gets flexed to a night game. LeSean McCoy makes his pitch for league MVP with 180 rushing yards.

Pick: Ten-year vet Nnamdi Asomugha, going to the playoffs for the first time ever, weeps with joy at midfield. Eagles, 27-21.

Contact Ed Barkowitz at barkowe@phillynews.com.

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