DEAR ABBY: I am a 31-year-old wife and stay-at-home mother. My husband, "Jake," works 40-plus hours a week. My daughter, 2, keeps me on my toes. In the evenings and on weekends, Jake does yard work. I hate it because I'm with our daughter all day, every day, and he expects me to watch her while he's outside. I dislike yard work and don't like being outside unless I am completely comfortable. I also have health issues that keep me from being as active as I would like. I feel my resentment and anger growing over this issue. Jake says it is necessary for us to have a garden. But why must I have all the responsibility of caring for our daughter? I'd like it if Jake would give up on some of the outside activities. What do you suggest?
Dear Abby: Husband's gardening takes time away from family
- Second to a Shrub in Oregon
DEAR SECOND: While tending to the yard and the garden may be necessary, it is also very important for your husband to devote some time to nurturing his relationship with his daughter.
Mention that to him, and while you're at it, tell him she should be at least as important to him as the tomato plants and the zinnias.
You should not be saddled with all the child-care responsibilities 24/7. Marriages are like gardens. If they're not given care and feeding, they will wither as yours appears to be doing.
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