Tell Me About It: Breakup has thrown sister off the rails

At what point do we (friends, family, and I) sit her down and gently tell her it might be time to snap out of it?

Answer: You seem unaccustomed to having people wander off the sanctioned path in your family - at least, doing so in plain view. You also seem to be testing the idea that your sister is overreacting to the breakup, bad as it was.

I believe, though, that this was much more than a breakup for your sister, and that you're under-reacting to her crisis - one she's having because this is all so new to friends and family.

"Golden" children tend to live by a do-what-I'm-supposed-to model of behavior, gradually forming an expectation that this will result in the life they're supposed to have.

When instead these exemplary choices send them into a publicly humiliating ditch, often the next place they find themselves is smack in the middle of a major existential crisis.

She needs to find her own way back to making good decisions for her own, internal reasons instead of the old, external ones. Loving her for who she is, versus what she accomplishes, is the best map you can possibly give her for this difficult road ahead.