Steve and Mia: Why is his girlfriend using a sex toy?

Posted: October 12, 2012

Q: SOMETHING ain't right with me and my girlfriend. I'm going all out putting it down, giving her oral sex for 30 minutes - then my girlfriend reached in her nightstand drawer and pulled out a sex toy. Why isn't she getting off on me the way she used to? It must be some other dude. Why else all of a sudden would she need this? It's been bugging me ever since.

Mia: Yo, check your ego, man. What's wrong with a little battery-operated fun? You need to chill. Better yet, stock up on batteries. And thank the heavens you have a sexually open woman. A lot of guys would love to be in your place. Don't believe me? Check out the next letter we got.

Steve: Presumably she's getting you off. If she chooses to get herself off with a toy, how is this a threat to you? Have a loving chat with her and find out how many different ways there are, both with and without your assistance. You might learn something.

Q: My wife and I have been married for 30 years, and for the past few years everything seems to be going downhill. She never wants to do anything. She's always tired. She seems depressed and sleeps a lot. We hardly ever have sex. We both work hard and are financially well off, but I can't see myself continuing this downward slide. Any suggestions?

Steve: You don't mention any attempt to intervene in this decaying system. Here, we must turn to physics class. The second law of thermodynamics holds that all matter tends toward entropy, ultimately a state of random chaos.

Marriage is the same. Constant adjustment, repair and communication are required to keep it in a state of happy equilibrium. Begin with communication, find the problem and then work together to resolve it. It must be a shared effort. As you proceed, the romance will return.

Mia: Before you trade her in, why not try buffing up the old model? Sounds like she could use a tune-up. Take her to see a counselor or a psychiatrist and get her treated for depression. It's going to take effort on both of your parts, but isn't she worth it?


Steve is a 50-something married man who's been around the block. Mia is a younger, recently married woman with an all-together different attitude. They may not agree, but they have plenty of answers. Contact them at S&M@phillynews.com or S&M c/o Daily News, 801 Market St., Philadelphia, PA 19107.

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