Dear Abby: Husband hopes wife outgrows drunken girls' nights out

Posted: October 16, 2012

DEAR ABBY: I have been married eight months. My wife has an occasional habit that makes me wonder whether we got married too young. (She's 23, I'm 27, and we're both in graduate school.) She likes to go out with a group of her friends from high school or with her sister, get drunk and stay the night.

I'm not worried about her cheating on me. I try not to be controlling and say she "can't" go out. But it bothers me. If I talk about it, she gets angry and says she doesn't get to see her friends very often. I don't understand why her socializing always has to involve staying out all night. Her sister is my age and has a career, but still likes hosting these parties. I wonder when she will outgrow this. What should I do?

- Getting Frustrated

in Pontiac, Mich.

DEAR FRUSTRATED: Your wife appears to be trying to hold onto her carefree single days, and it's a shame she can't do that without getting herself soused and staying out all night. On the other hand, if she's in no condition to get behind the wheel, then it's better that she not drive.

I don't think saying what's on your mind is "controlling." I suspect your wife becomes angry because she is defensive.

I recommend that you both widen your circle of friends so you spend more time with other married couples who are more mature than your wife's friends appear to be.

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