Sideshow: Nein, nein! Zap that tat off my neck

Eva Longoria and No. 9 Tony Parker back in the bliss. Now Eva's getting her "nine" tattoo lasered off, leaving a mauve splotch.
Eva Longoria and No. 9 Tony Parker back in the bliss. Now Eva's getting her "nine" tattoo lasered off, leaving a mauve splotch.
Posted: October 25, 2012

Tattoos are, let's face it, trouble. Especially tattoos gotten for love. Why? Because, once love's over, that tat is still there. And then you gotta get it off, and that is icky. Not to mention painful.

Unspeakably comely Eva Longoria had a semi-tasteless Gothic word nine carved in ink on the back of her neck, standing for the jersey number of then-spouse Tony Parker, who bounces balls for the NBA's San Antonio Spurs. But then Tony, in an affront to male longing everywhere, engaged in extravehicular activity with other wimmens, and goodbye, Tony. Now Eva has been gritting her nice tooths while lasers destroy her tat and neck all at once. A nice mauve splotch is now where the nine used to be. Someday it'll look less icky, she promises the world. She broke up with/from Eduardo Cruz, Penélope's hermano, in early summer.

Good thing Eva didn't ink N.Y. Jets QB Mark Sanchez's number into a cheek or something. Because the two are now no longer two. It was a "scheduling" thing, says Mark's rep helpfully. (What does that mean, exactly?) So says Us Weekly. Mark's number, BTW, is 6. I guess she could have just turned the nine upside down. Wait. It doesn't work like that. . . .

 

It's a family thing

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are proud thespians and even prouder parents. Recently we learned that daughter Vivienne, 4, will play in Disney's Maleficent, a retelling of the Sleeping Beauty tale from the villain's POV. ( Elle Fanning will star as Princess Aurora.) Heck, why not make it a family affair? Pax, 8, and Zahara, 7, will now also have smaller, nonspeaking roles. Shiloh, 6, was supposed to be included, according to Anonymous Source, but was bored and didn't join in; Shiloh was in daddy Braddie's 2008 flick The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Zahara was adopted in Ethiopia and Pax in Vietnam, while biological baby Shiloh was born in Namibia, and bio-twins Knox and Vivienne in France.

Susan and marriage

Susan Sarandon was on Katie Couric's Katie show on Tuesday, dishing about why she never married Tim Robbins, with whom she lived and raised two sons, Miles and Jack, from 1998 to 2009. Hey, she's all for marriage - for other folks. "I thought it would make it less spontaneous," she says. She does believe in fidelity, it says here. She was married to actor Chris Sarandon from 1967 to 1979, and has a daughter, actress Eva Amurri, 27, whose dad is Italian director Franco Amurri.

Keep it on, Tay-Tay!

 Why won't Taylor Swift take her dang clothes off? What the heck is it with her, anyway? What, does she take herself seriously as some kind of role model? C'mon. Next she'll say she wants people to focus on the fact that "I write my own songs, not that I have great abs" or something. Or maybe humble Tay-Tay doesn't think she could pull it off. . . . What? . . . She did say all that? . . . To the Sun? . . . Just now? . . . Oh . . . So, um, are we ever getting back together? . . .


This article includes information from Inquirer wire services. Contact "SideShow" at sideshow@phillynews.com.

 

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