Dear Abby: Widower's grief worsened by doctor's silence

Posted: November 21, 2012

DEAR ABBY: My wife, "Margie," recently lost her five-year battle with leukemia. Something I found particularly upsetting was the apathetic attitude of her doctor and his staff.

Margie was seeing a specialist in a city 300 miles from our home. During this period, we thought of the doctor and his staff more as our friends. Margie would often bring them home-cooked meals or pastries from a bakery and made all the women a set of dish towels.

After my wife passed away, I sent a note to the doctor and his staff, thanking them and expressing my gratitude. I never received one message in return. I understand they treat many patients, but don't you think SOMEONE could have given me a call or sent a sympathy card?

- Still Grieving in Arkansas

DEAR STILL GRIEVING: Everyone deals with death differently and doctors are people, too. Emotional detachment is sometimes the way that these physicians and staff protect themselves from emotional pain. Please forgive them.

DEAR ABBY: My son-in-law "Ralph" was an exceptional wrestler in high school until a shoulder injury ended his career. Now he wants his 10-year-old son, "Carter," to wrestle. Carter went to a few practices in early elementary school, but showed no real interest in the sport. However, he does like basketball and shows potential to be a decent player.

Right now, my grandson's dream is to have a cellphone, and Ralph has promised to get him one - if he goes out for wrestling.

I'm afraid Carter could get hurt while participating in a sport he has no real desire for, and could end up being unable to play the sport of his choice.

- Frustrated Grandma In Iowa

DEAR GRANDMA: I agree with you, and for the sensible reasons you stated. I hope you and your daughter will talk to Ralph and tell him you think this is a bad idea, and that he will listen to you.

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