The joke will be on Harry, however, as Taylor will already have moved on.
* Lindsay Lohan will get arrested.
C'mon, that's a gimme.
Eventually, she will follow Tattle's advice and land a lead role in a sitcom in which she and an overzealous laugh track will make fun of her troubles.
Preferably the sitcom will also feature a precocious child who teaches Lindsay life lessons.
* In late September, Jessica Simpson will announce she's pregnant with her third child.
Weight Watchers will just throw up its hands in disgust.
* Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez will irrevocably call it quits, and he will begin a downward spiral of Tiger Woods-like debauchery.
* Someone unknown as we write this will pen a dystopian trilogy for teenagers and become rich and famous.
* Honey Boo Boo will survive a tragic pork rind overdose, but her young, cholesterol-conscious fans will turn against her, ending her 15 minutes of fame.
* Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are expecting. When Baby Kimye arrives in 2013, E! commits to a 20-year order of reality episodes, including "Weight, Baby Weight," "Giving Birth with the Kardashians," "Kim Counts Kalories," "Cribs: Kimye Edition," "Baby's First Bling," "Toddlers and Tiaras: Kimye Edition," "Home-Schooling with the Kardashians," "Kim and Kanye Take Two Xanax," "The Nanny: Kimye Edition," "Trippin': Baby Kimye Goes to Boarding School" and "Kimye Goes to Kollege."
* A John Mayer sex tape will be leaked, and it will finally become clear how he attracts so many hot women.
* Katy Perry will see a copy of the Fame bio-comic about her and say, "Wow, the guy who wrote this totally gets me."
* With nowhere left to go fashionwise, Lady Gaga will stop dressing like Marie Antoinette and start dressing like Ellen DeGeneres.
* Victoria Beckham will smile.
But don't blink, or you'll miss it.
* Even though "The Guilt Trip" flopped, Barbra Streisand and Seth Rogen will return in a Hanukkah-themed scavenger hunt, "The Gelt Trip."
* Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan-Tatum's baby will give all other babies a complex.
* Speaking of babies, Anne Hathaway will announce her pregnancy early in 2013.
Hugh Jackman will raise her child.
* 50 Cent will change his name to 60 Cent, after factoring in the cost of ObamaCare.