Dear Abby: She's furious with hubby's online affairs with students

Posted: January 10, 2013

DEAR ABBY: My husband is now involved in his third computer affair. He's a teacher, and his first one was with a student. He was almost fired over it. He apologized to me and to his supervisor, said it was an "error in judgment" and promised it would never happen again.

Last week I found an email he had sent to another former student, and the things he said to her were disgusting.

I know if this gets back to his boss, he'll be fired. He's a brilliant man and an excellent teacher. So what do I do? I have considered doing nothing, and if he gets caught let him suffer the consequences.

- Not Laughing in Washington

DEAR NOT LAUGHING: Your husband has a serious problem. If you love him at all, confront him and insist that he talk with a counselor and learn to strengthen his impulse control.

DEAR ABBY: A year and a half ago, I was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer. I have excellent medical care, and my doctor is optimistic.

I have tried meeting men on the Internet or through groups I belong to. I explain on the first date about my health issues because I don't want anyone to think I'm dishonest. Unfortunately, several men I would have liked to see again told me flat-out that they "can't deal with the cancer thing."

I don't want to spend the rest of my life - however long it may be - alone. Should I wait to tell a man about my illness until we've seen each other a few times? Or should I continue as I have and hope I eventually find someone with enough compassion willing to take the chance?

-Healthy Now in Wisconsin

DEAR HEALTHY NOW: Compassion? How about someone intelligent enough to grasp that nobody has a guarantee about how long someone will live - including him? The appropriate time to discuss your medical history is after you have gotten to know someone well enough that you can talk frankly about it.

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