Dear Abby: Bride struggles to dump ex-friend from wedding party

Posted: January 11, 2013

DEAR ABBY: I used to be close friends with "Colette." We were so close that I asked her to be a bridesmaid in my April wedding.

Over the last several years of our friendship, Colette became selfish and domineering. It didn't bother me so much before, because I felt her positive qualities outweighed the negative. However, after several recent incidents, I finally told her I was upset. She offered a cop-out response, and we have not communicated since then. That was a month ago.

How do I let her know that I want to withdraw my request for her to be a bridesmaid?

-Needs Perspective in Kansas

DEAR NEEDS: Tell Colette politely that your plans have changed. If she feels as you suspect she does, she may be relieved to be let off the hook. And if not, well - you don't plan on continuing your friendship with her in any case. Do not make the conversation anything but polite and brief.

DEAR ABBY: My mother had to be placed in a nursing home a year and a half ago. It has been a difficult time in our lives. She had two small, adorable dogs that kept her company for many years. I have kept them at her home and provide daily care and love to them.

I tried to find them a loving home, to no avail. I can't bring them to my home because I'm allergic to dogs.

My problem is my brother. He knows I need a good home for Mom's dogs, but he went out and bought another dog for his family. I was hurt and angry when he told me, but tried not to show it.

- Doggone it!

DEAR DOGGONE IT!: Your feelings are understandable. However, before you let them degenerate into lasting antipathy, have a frank talk with your brother. Tell him your feelings and find out why he didn't volunteer to take in your mother's dogs. There is nothing to be gained by stewing in silence, and he may have had a reason.

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