Unfortunately, Baby Kimye likely is doomed to the pages of People and US Weekly, where exhausted mommies in nail salons - yes, including me - will unwind with images of her doing "normal things," like throwing a tantrum at a Pinkberry in Santa Monica.
Sure, money will never be an issue for this child. Some speculate that Kardashian could rake in millions from endorsing everything from formula to strollers. If she follows the celebrity mom playbook, you can add a line of baby clothes and a postpartum weight loss product and be certain that Baby Kimye will be diapered in dollar bills.
Considering our culture's obsession with celebrity babies, it's hard enough to keep them out of the spotlight even if you don't actively court it.
With her mom already on a reality show and revealing every detail of her daily life, Baby Kimye has no chance of escaping the spotlight. Let's face it: This could be a way for Kardashian to reshape her image, and this baby could be a conduit for that. Instead of headlines about Kardashian's sex life, we'll read about how Baby Kimye took her first step or slept through the night for the first time.
Nothing recasts the public's attention like bundles of joy. After all, motherhood practically reinvented Tori Spelling's career. Same with Nicole Richie. She went from being the best friend of a rich girl famous for having sex on a videotape to a successful fashion designer.
Yes, Baby Kimye will likely change the image of Kardashian as we know it, but who will teach the kid humility? Baby Kimye, I hope you enjoy the peace and quiet of your mommy's womb because it's going to be a lot different when you come out. I hope you can go to the park without the paparazzi, and above all, I hope your gift when you turn 5 is not a reality show.