"Get to know me," he said, "and then make judgments for yourself."
In the same vein, an honest assessment of character probably requires more than just the cursory due diligence that Amaro says he performed, or the sessions Young says he had with a rabbi, who also happens to be a longtime Tigers season ticketholder. In fact, one of the lessons in mythmaking that we've received over the last few weeks is that very little of what we read or hear about an athlete should be considered a valid representation of his nature. That being said, while few of us know enough about Delmon Young the human being to render an honest verdict, the same cannot be said about Delmon Young the baseball player. And this is where we pick up on our comedy.
The Phillies signing of Young is little more than the latest maneuver in a remarkable 2-year run in which everything Amaro & Co. says it is looking for in players turns out to be inversely proportional to the prevalence of those characteristics in the players they end up signing. Last offseason, they said they wanted a younger lineup that had a better approach at the plate.
"It's not just about the home run," Amaro said after the Phillies fell to the Cardinals in the National League Division Series. "We just don't have same offensive team that we had in 2008. We have to realize that and work with it . . . We should have more .300 hitters."
By the start of spring training, the Phillies had acquired 41-year-old power-hitting designated hitter Jim Thome (.256 average, .361 OBP, 3.0 AB/SO the previous season), 31-year-old power-hitting outfielder Laynce Nix (.250 average, .299 OBP, 4.0 AB/SO), and 34-year-old power-hitting infielder Ty Wigginton (.242 average, .315 OBP, 4.8 AB/SO).
This year, the buzz phrase has been "pitch the ball and catch the ball," usually repeated as a comparison to the world champion Giants.
"It's about pitching and defense and playing the game the right way," Amaro said on a number of occasions.
He also said, "The brand of baseball that we played I wasn't real happy with, and I don't think Charlie [Manuel] was either, and that's playing winning baseball and we just didn't do that all that well."
With 3 weeks to go before spring training, the Phillies have traded away their youngest starting pitcher in Vance Worley and one of their top pitching prospects in Trevor May. At third base, they have penciled in 36-year-old Michael Young, who last played the position in 2010 and who spent the bulk of last season as a designated hitter (hitting .277/.312/.370 in the process). In Kevin Frandsen, they have signed a utility man who has played primarily at third base and second base in his career, which could force them to think about keeping another utility man who can back up Jimmy Rollins at shortstop.
And to cap off the offseason, the Phillies now welcome in Delmon Young, who was so bad at defense that he played mostly at designated hitter last season, and who was so bad at designated hitter that his best option for 2013 was to accept a $750,000 contract from a National League club.
That club, the Phillies, now plans on using Young as its everyday rightfielder, a position he has not played since 2007, pairing him with a leftfield situation that features a converted first baseman in Darin Ruf and an unknown in Domonic Brown.
Brown apparently has so little offensive upside and defensive dependability that he has spent most of the last two seasons playing behind Raul Ibanez and Hunter Pence and could do the same in 2013 behind Ruf and Young.
The irony in all of it is that the Young signing makes some sense, at least in a vacuum. In fact, the Phillies offseason as a whole makes some sense. Rather than pay inflated prices for lackluster commodities, Amaro brought in players who at least give him a chance to net returns that exceed his investments.
The problem is that he forced his hand over the previous couple of seasons, trading away two of his top chips for 1 year of Pence, then relegating Brown to the minors and thus delaying the finding-out process, then failing to take advantage of a post-2011 market that featured a glut of veteran corner outfielders known for their power and approach, Josh Willingham and Carlos Beltran to name two (one could argue that the first domino fell even earlier, when the Phillies traded Cliff Lee after the 2009 season, which later forced them to trade for Roy Oswalt, who was later rejoined by Lee, instead of holding onto centerfield prospect Anthony Gose, whose absence necessitated the trades of Worley and May. And so on).
The result is a roster that looks like a product of necessity instead of a big-picture plan. Phillies fans can only hope that it does not turn out to be a laughing matter.