But that's not what LAPD officials are saying.
"The altercation allegedly led to Chris Brown punching the victim," read a statement from the cops, with TMZ.com reporting that officers view Ocean as the victim, although that may be because the "Pyramids" singer didn't flee the scene.
Brown has a rather hateworthy history: He's still on parole for beating his on/off girlfriend Rihanna before the 2009 Grammy Awards, which we hope is a crime that dogs his entire mediocre career.
Other vile, diva-level behavior has followed, including a high-profile altercation with rapper Drake at a New York nightclub in June.
Both Brown and Ocean took to social media after the clash. Brown posted a photo to Instagram that seemed to have been taken before the kerfuffle, with the caption, "Working on my album. Not working on negativity. Focus on feeding ya family. Bulls--- will forever be in the shadows."
Ocean tweeted: "got jumped by chris and a couple guys. lol. i only wish everest was there." Everest is Ocean's Bernese mountain dog. In another missive he wrote, "cut my finger now I can't play w two hands at the grammys." Ocean and his stellar debut album, "Channel Orange," are nominated for six Grammy Awards.
If Ocean's beautiful rendition of "Thinkin Bout You" at last year's MTV Video Music Awards is any indication of what we'll get an the Grammys on Feb. 10, Ocean won't need the digit-al help.
Ross fired (at)
Rapper Rick Ross, a/k/a The Boss (or The Other Boss for that small subsection of Ross- Bruce Springsteen fans that includes Lady Tattle), did not have a very happy 37th birthday. Leaving his shindig in Fort Lauderdale, Fla., Ross crashed his Rolls-Royce into the side of a building while trying to flee a gunman who had fired "dozens" (according to witnesses) of shots at Ross and his lady friend, police said.
An unidentified car pulled up next to Ross' about 5 a.m. Monday and fired, missing the Rolls, Ross told police. He and fashion designer Shateria L. Moragne-el were uninjured.
The shooter fled before police arrived. Fort Lauderdale cops are seeking surveillance photos of the incident.
Cooper to play Lance?
Rydal's pride and joy, Bradley Cooper, denied rumors that he is attached to star as Lance Armstrong in a biopic of the disgraced cyclist.
Cooper voiced interest in the part last week in an interview with the BBC, saying he found Armstrong fascinating. That snowballed into "is definitely starring in and beginning his Oscar campaign even before a script is written."
At Sunday night's Screen Actors Guild Awards, Cooper scoffed at the idea, telling "Access Hollywood" that he didn't even know the idea of a film existed.
The proposed movie is set up at Paramount Pictures, with J.J. Abrams, who was just tapped to helm the new "Star Wars" flick, scheduled to direct.
Don't count Cooper out, though. Abrams told "Entertainment Tonight" that he shot Cooper an email about the role.
Personally, we think Michael Fassbender would make a better Armstrong, if only because of their shared sky-high cheekbones.
Get well, Babs!
Barbara Walters is having a rough couple of weeks healthwise. The legendary TV reporter, already recuperating from a head injury, was again absent Monday from her daytime talk show, "The View."
Co-host Whoopi Goldberg gave Baba Wawa fans the update.
"You all know that [Walters] fell and cut her head 10 days ago, and then was running a temperature, but it turns out it is all the result of a delayed childhood," Goldberg said.
"Barbara has the chickenpox. She'd never had it as a child. So now she's been told to rest, she's not allowed any visitors. And we're telling you, Barbara, no scratching."
- Daily News wire services
contributed to this report.
Howard Gensler has the day off.
On Twitter: @mollyeichel