Dear Abby: Romantic's heart is bruised by end of long relationship

Posted: February 01, 2013

DEAR ABBY: A great man once said, "A life without love is no life at all." So many people find love in so many ways, either through arranged marriages or at social events, school or college.

I have always been a hopeless romantic, but since the end of my eight-year relationship, my heart no longer feels the same. I feel as though love will never find me.

How do you prepare your heart for love after a tragic loss?

- Trying to Go On

DEAR TRYING: I'm sorry for your loss and heartache. But unless your lover was wrenched from you by death, you should do what people of both sexes must when a romance ends - ask yourself why and what you have learned from it.

The failure of a romance doesn't mean that love will never happen again. You will know you have found love when you meet someone who makes you feel strong instead of dependent, who appreciates you for the person you are and isn't threatened by your successes, who supports you when you're down, takes pride in your accomplishments, and will hug you even after a difficult day. And it shouldn't take "preparation," just a willingness to risk putting yourself out there and a little good luck.

DEAR ABBY: I have a dear friend who recently remarried. He has always said that what he and his late wife worked for should go to their children. However, I have just learned that his prenup wasn't signed until after their marriage. Also, it was drawn up by an accountant, not a lawyer.

I always thought that a prenup was an agreement to specific conditions before a marriage. Am I right, and is a prenup valid if it is signed after the wedding?

- Curious in Kansas City

DEAR CURIOUS: A document like the one you have described is called a postnuptial agreement. It should have been drafted by your friend's attorney, then reviewed by an attorney representing the wife to be sure she fully understood what she was signing. If she did not, then it may not be legal and enforceable.

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