DEAR TRYING: I'm sorry for your loss and heartache. But unless your lover was wrenched from you by death, you should do what people of both sexes must when a romance ends - ask yourself why and what you have learned from it.
The failure of a romance doesn't mean that love will never happen again. You will know you have found love when you meet someone who makes you feel strong instead of dependent, who appreciates you for the person you are and isn't threatened by your successes, who supports you when you're down, takes pride in your accomplishments, and will hug you even after a difficult day. And it shouldn't take "preparation," just a willingness to risk putting yourself out there and a little good luck.
DEAR ABBY: I have a dear friend who recently remarried. He has always said that what he and his late wife worked for should go to their children. However, I have just learned that his prenup wasn't signed until after their marriage. Also, it was drawn up by an accountant, not a lawyer.
I always thought that a prenup was an agreement to specific conditions before a marriage. Am I right, and is a prenup valid if it is signed after the wedding?
- Curious in Kansas City
DEAR CURIOUS: A document like the one you have described is called a postnuptial agreement. It should have been drafted by your friend's attorney, then reviewed by an attorney representing the wife to be sure she fully understood what she was signing. If she did not, then it may not be legal and enforceable.