Tell Me About It: Good pal going with a mean girl

Posted: February 01, 2013

Question: A close friend of mine has a new girlfriend. I don't like her. She's treated me with disrespect and she doesn't seem to be a nice person. She's said some really mean things about people right in front of them.

I'm planning on having a housewarming party. Is there any way I can say my friend is invited, but I don't want him to bring his girlfriend over when I'm hosting events?

Answer: When she's said these mean things, you've asked her to clarify/apologize/step off, right?

If not, then you need to.

And if that doesn't improve the situation, then you tell your friend you're concerned about things she has said. You ask if you're reading things correctly. You listen to his answer.

Then you give the girlfriend extra chances to show you why your close friend likes her.

In the meantime, your party will happen, so invite her despite your reservations because that's what close friends do.

Then, if you've dealt with her directly; taken your concerns to your friend; granted the girlfriend extra chances to win you over; invited her to your event(s); and yet she's still mistreating you or others, then you get to say to your friend, "I'm in a bad spot because you're one of my closest friends, but Meanie has said awful things to so much of my guest list that she's no longer welcome at things I host."


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