D EAR HARRY: We are both in our late 70s, and we live in a retirement community in South Jersey. For the last six months, we have been considering making a will. We have a pretty substantial estate and no children. We do have nieces and nephews and two favorite charities that we want as heirs. We are faced with a number of dilemmas, especially regarding our nieces and nephews. One of our nieces has been particularly attentive. She helped us move, helped us get over the emotional stress of the move, always offers to shop for us, and does many other things. Her husband has a substantial income. Another niece has had illnesses, and neither she nor her husband do well financially. We hear from her rarely. The others are OK. To top it off, one of our charities is pushing us to go to its lawyer and name him as executor. We met him. He seemed competent, but we didn't like him.