Kissing couple should commit to each other

Posted: March 12, 2013

DEAR ABBY: I am a semiretired widow in my 60s. A few months ago, I started spending time with a man I work with. We would see each other once or twice a month, strictly as friends. Our "dates" ended with a platonic hug.

About a month ago, a hug turned into an embrace. A week later, the embrace became a passionate kiss. Since then, whenever we get together - now once or twice a week - we spend a good portion of our time together "making out." We love the way each other kisses.

The problem is, we're still just friends. There is no desire on the part of either of us to take the relationship up a notch. What do we do?

- Flabbergasted in Wisconsin

DEAR FLABBERGASTED: I assume you're both eligible. This is the way relationships develop, and you would be foolish not to see where it leads. As of now, a kiss is still a kiss. Let me hear from you in a month.

DEAR ABBY: I am a new bride. I love my husband very much, but I've encountered a problem that I don't know how to handle. My husband and I were together for six years before we got married and were engaged for three. We eloped to Las Vegas (it wasn't planned) and had a "proper" celebration with friends and family later.

My husband makes comments that suggest I dragged him and tricked him into marrying me. I know he's only kidding, but it's very hurtful. I don't know how to let him know his comments really hurt my feelings. It makes me feel like he's ashamed of our marriage.

- Newlywed in California

DEAR NEWLYWED: The squeaky wheel gets the grease. The next time your husband does it, speak up. Explain that his attempts at humor are hurtful, not to mention insulting. Ask him if he regrets marrying you. (If the answer is yes, it's important that you know it now.) Clear communication is the key to a strong marriage, and so is respect for one's partner, which he appears to be lacking.

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