When Seacrest heard about his fair-haired maiden's misfortune, he said (OK, Lady Tattle imagined he said):
"Jules, my sweet! Those were but mere trinkets! I shall pay you in oodles of platinum and gold and diamonds and Rolexes galore, should you stand beside me on red carpets and look lovingly into my eyes for all eternity!"
(Hough nodded dutifully. Then Seacrest went back to staring longingly at a framed portrait of former "Idol" judge Simon Cowell.)
The president of the United States was, until a few years ago, incredibly proud to wear a pair of khakis he'd had since he was 20. He's also jogged in Martha's Vineyard. And he digs stripes.
These and other stunning revelations - POTUS favors the Black Eyed Peas tune "Where is the Love?" and wouldn't mind taking his First and only Lady to the club on a night when Sasha and Malia are hanging with friends - are all part of Cape May Court House native Jonathan Van Meter's big story in next month's Vogue.
The April issue hits newsstands March 26. The cover features Michelle Obama in a Reed Krakoff dress of royal blue, black and a touch of burgundy. This is the belle Michelle's second time gracing the fashion mag's cover. But it's the first time she's doing it with bangs.
Charlie Sheen has 9 million followers on Twitter. Charlie Sheen has 9 million followers on Twitter. (We thought it bore repeating.)
This, alone, should be news. But he's Charlie Sheen.
He doesn't settle for just newsworthy.
He settles for nutso, and only nutso.
Sheen took to the World Wide Web to claim his (and Denise Richards') 9-year-old daughter, Sam, was "bullied out of" school. He also told all 9,131,530 (and counting) onlookers the name of Sam's school.
And then, calling himself a "warlock," the former "Two and a Half Men" star instructed his "cadre" to vandalize the school.
Using toilet paper. And rotten eggs. And, to put it nicely, doggy doo.
Because such unconventional methods would be - what? - an effective teaching tool? A way to make kids be nicer to Sam? A smart way of communicating with administrators?
Oh, Charlie, how far you've fallen since your turn as adorable, kindhearted jock Cappie in the movie "Lucas"!
Sources told TMZ on Thursday that after shooting a music video in L.A. on Tuesday night, hip-hop artist Lil Wayne suffered seizures and spent the night in Cedars-Sinai Hospital.
Released early Wednesday morning, the often-shirtless, frequently sunglassed, heavily tattooed rapper is reported to be feeling better now.
Still, considering Weezy had two seizures in October, Lady Tattle can't help but wonder if the hip-hop megastar oughta hire someone to remind him to take his medication. Or set some kind of timer?
Never one to set a trend - or even be within the same decade as a trend - Jessica Simpson has reportedly hired Shabby Chic inventor Rachel Ashwell to decorate the Simpson-Johnson household. All 11,000 square feet of it.
Way back when Lady Tattle was little Lady Tattle, Ashwell became famous for tossing faded chintz pillows onto rusting wire chairs and calling the result stylish. Simpson, who's expecting her second with fiance Eric Johnson, apparently just got the memo.
Hopefully the growing Simpson-Johnson brood won't turn out to be oral explorers, because rusting wire chairs are not on the American Academy of Pediatrics' list of recommended teething toys.
On Twitter: @LaMcCutch
Daily News wire services contributed to this report.
Howard Gensler has the day off.