Lindsay's been bad; Obama made her do it

Posted: March 19, 2013

FREQUENT TATTLE readers know there isn't always a quality item to put atop the column, and we're forced to tap dance a little.

Other days, there are two items so equal in their awesomeness that they fight for supremacy.

Today is such a day.

The combatants? Lindsay Lohan and . . . Satan.

It's probably a battle Lindsay has fought many times.

But we'll start with Satan - or should we say, Barack Obama?

The Internet has been aflame with a new round of conspiracy theories pointing out that the Satan character in History Channel's miniseries "The Bible" bears a drone-striking resemblance to the present president.

The separated-at-birth connection got widespread attention after talk-show host and carnival barker Glenn Beck tweeted: "Does Satan look EXACTLY like Obama? Yes!"

Aha! So Obama wasn't born in Kenya. He was an angel who fell out of favor with God.

Does John Boehner know?

Whatever the latest silliness du jour is, the producers of "The Bible" miniseries, Mark "Survivor" Burnett and his wife, Roma "Touched By an Angel" Downey, say the whole thing is "utter nonsense."

Burnett and Downey said Monday that the Moroccan actor who played Satan in the History Channel series, Mehdi Ouzaani, has played Satanic characters in other biblical programs long before Obama was elected president.

"Both Mark and I have nothing but respect and love for our president, who is a fellow Christian," said Downey. "False statements such as these are just designed as a foolish distraction to try and discredit the beauty of the story of the Bible."

The History Channel said in a statement that the network has "the highest respect" for Obama and that "it's unfortunate that anyone made this false connection."

Sure, but maybe this support for Obama is really just the work of the devil.

* Speaking of which, after showing up more than 30 minutes late for court, Lindsay Lohan accepted a plea deal on Monday in a misdemeanor car-crash case that includes 90 days in a locked-down rehab facility that she won't be able to leave.

Lindsay pleaded no-contest to reckless driving, lying to police and obstructing officers who were investigating the accident involving the actress in June.

She was also found in violation of her probation in a 2011 necklace theft and sentenced to 180 days in jail. However, she will be able to avoid jail time if she complies with the conditions of her plea deal, which also includes 30 days of community labor and 18 months of psychological therapy.

Before the "Mean Girls" actress left the courtroom, Superior Court Judge James R. Dabney offered her a suggestion.

"Don't drive," he said.

Lindsay was late for court because she reportedly missed her original Sunday night flight from New York to L.A., instead traveling on a private plane provided by energy-drink company Mr. Pink, which we always thought was a porn company.


* And in other Satanic news, the trustee overseeing Casey Anthony's bankruptcy case has filed a motion to sell the rights to her story so that she can pay her debts.

In a motion filed Friday in federal court in Tampa, trustee Stephen Meininger asked Judge K. Rodney May for permission to sell the "exclusive worldwide rights" to Casey's life story.

Now 26, Casey was acquitted in July 2011 of murdering her 2-year-old daughter, Caylee, and has never told her side of the story, despite intense media scrutiny of the case and Nancy Grace reaching into her throat to grab her vocal chords.

* reports that Lil Wayne has been removed from intensive care at L.A.'s Cedars-Sinai Hospital and could be released soon.

It is believed that Wayne landed in the hospital after OD'ing on codeine.

* The Tony Awards said Monday that the glittery event will be broadcast live by CBS from Radio City Music Hall on June 9. Nominations will be announced April 30.

Producers of the show were forced to find a new home for the 2011 event after Cirque du Soleil moved into Radio City with its $50 million acrobatic rock opera, "Zarkana." The Tonys had been at Radio City from 1997-2010.

For the past two years, the Tonys were handed out at the much smaller Beacon Theater, on Manhattan's Upper West Side.

* According to London's Daily Mail, Taylor Swift wrote "I Knew You Were Trouble" after she dated Harry Styles briefly last spring.

She later recorded the song for her album "Red," and, even knowing enough about what she was getting into to come up with rhymes, then began dating him again.

"Trouble," of course, ensued.

- Daily News wire services

contributed to this report.


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