Mom guilt-wracked by daughter's abortion

Posted: March 22, 2013

DEAR ABBY: My 22-year-old daughter became pregnant from a guy she had dated only a few months, but never seriously. After weeks of wondering what she was going to do, she decided that terminating her pregnancy was the best thing to do considering she has limited income and still lives with me. I, however, am pro-life, although I do feel that in cases of rape or incest it is acceptable. My daughter knows how I feel about this. I supported her in her decision, but did not agree with it.

Abby, I have taken this really hard. I have cried every day since she had the abortion, and I'm torturing myself thinking this is my fault because I went against everything I believe in when I supported her in her decision.

How can I stop blaming myself for her decision?

- Tortured in the South

DEAR TORTURED: The decision about whether or not to terminate the pregnancy wasn't yours to make; it was your daughter's. Being pro-life, you have your own convictions, but you acted as a loving parent should - you supported your child. If you feel you could benefit from counseling to help you through this, ask your doctor for a referral.

DEAR ABBY: We keep a handgun hidden in a locked safe in our bedroom. (An access code is required to open it.)

We recently hired a babysitter whom we used for an evening while we attended a party. When she arrived, my husband immediately announced that we had a gun upstairs.

He felt it was her "right" to know. I think, because the gun isn't accessible, the information was useless to her and actually may have put our family in danger. To me, having a secured firearm in our house is no one else's business but ours. What do you think?

- Not the Wild West

DEAR NOT THE WILD WEST: I think you are correct. This is a subject that should have been discussed before the young woman was hired. Your husband exhibited poor judgment by sharing what should have been confidential information.

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