DEAR ABBY: I hope you will print this because I'm sure many women share this dilemma. My boyfriend, whom I adore and who is one of the kindest men on Earth, wants me to perform a certain sex act on him. While I understand that many people - and I don't judge them - enjoy it, I am not one of them. I would feel degraded if I even tried it.
He says that he won't pressure me about it, yet he talks about it a lot. Just listening to him talk about it puts unwanted pressure on me. I have tried to be honest with him. I told him I don't want to do this, but I'm afraid if I don't, it will damage my relationship with him. However, if I give in, I'll end up with feelings of self-loathing and resentment. Either way, it will be damaging. We're in our 40s. Please offer any advice you might have.