When going gets tough, wife cheats

Posted: April 19, 2013

D EAR ABBY: I am a 47-year-old male, married for 26 years. I am hopelessly in love with my wife and still see her as the most beautiful woman in the world.

I have always been self-employed and have sometimes been at the extremes of feast or famine.

Each time things have gotten really bad, my wife has had an affair to make up for the time, money and attention I can't provide.

I feel responsible for failing to meet her needs. My heart is broken, and I feel like a failure. Am I a fool to keep fighting for her?

- Hopelessly in Love

DEAR HOPELESSLY IN LOVE: I hope you realize that as "beautiful" as your wife may be, your relationship with her isn't a healthy one.

If your wife loved you, she would prove it by doing everything in her power to help you through the rough periods. Do not let her hoodwink you into believing her infidelity is your fault because you worked yourself nearly into a physical collapse trying to provide for her.  

DEAR ABBY: What is proper etiquette for someone who takes pictures at a funeral?

I am a recent widow who received a package from an out-of-town relative. In it were several envelopes for my family. Inside were photos taken at my husband's funeral. Abby, it was like going to the funeral all over again!

Why would someone take pictures of such a sad event?

- Grieving Widow in Indiana

DEAR GRIEVING: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your husband. I can only imagine the shock you experienced when you saw the photos. No one should take pictures at funerals without permission from the immediate survivors, such as the widow, widower or children.

That said, the practice is not as uncommon as you might think. Short of asking your permission, your trauma could have been avoided had the relative who sent the pictures thought to label the envelopes or include a note explaining what was inside.

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