While I'm away, readers give the advice.
On informing young people they won't be in a family member's wedding party:
Fifty years ago, as a teenager, I was not included in a cousin's wedding party, but another cousin was. My mother was furious at her brother, the bride's father, and she communicated to me that my appearance at the wedding would be a humiliation for me.
I foolishly RSVP'd that I would "definitely not" be attending the wedding.
The result was a lasting rift in already strained relations in the family. I have always regretted such an unwise and immature reaction. Parents need to understand that it is their job to foster love and understanding, not bitterness and hate within their children. Children who find love in the world grow up with self-esteem and a sense of self-worth. Those who do not, spend their lives looking for slights wherever they go.