He does not understand why I am so unhappy. He thinks the money should make it OK. Most of the people I know are struggling financially, so there is no one I can talk to about this without sounding ungrateful. Should I just suck it up, shut up and hope that I will eventually adjust to my new life, or should I seek professional help?
Mia: While his new job might be great for your bank accounts, it might not be the best thing for the life the two of you had gotten used to. If you really want more time together, it might mean downsizing to a smaller home and having only one car so you can prioritize togetherness.
But this is a decision you really have to make together.
Meanwhile, getting a little therapy isn't a bad idea. You also might want to start going to the gym or taking classes. Don't nag him about choosing to work at a job he loves. Stay vibrant, sexy and interesting. And when you feel up to it, pack a picnic lunch and surprise him at his office.
Steve: Except for the surprise picnic at the office, I agree with Mia. Find interesting things to do with your time.
Q: I'm about to have another involved medical procedure which will require me to take weeks off of work. All my friends say that they'll be there for me, but the last time I went through this, I woke up in a hospital room all alone, not knowing what had happened. The thought of going through that again depresses me. I never dreamed I'd be this age and all alone in the world.
Mia, don't tell me to try online dating, because I've tried. I never meet anyone I really click with. I've tried going to bars and parties, but nothing works that way either. I have no family in the area and not many friends either.
Mia: Contact a social worker at the hospital where you are going to be treated. A trained professional can help you find the support you need before and after surgery. You might also ask to be screened for depression while you're at it.
Good luck to you.
Steve: You don't say what is prompting your medical procedure, but there are support groups for virtually every disease. Reach out to the appropriate one and find out what they have to offer.
Steve is a 50-something married man who's been around the block. Mia is a younger, recently married woman with an all-together different attitude. They may not agree, but they have plenty of answers. Contact them at S&M@phillynews.com or S&M c/o Daily News, 801 Market St., Philadelphia, PA 19107.